HATRED THAT CAN NEVER BE TAKES AWAY

My heart, my mind is full of hatred. I got easily tired, bored and irritated! I don’t know why I turned out like this. What I am now only shows that I’m bit sick of what life brought me into…

Though I’m not that pious enough to say that I really am I afraid to utter those things… How sick am I with this kind of life. (Forgive me for I am a vindicated sinner :()

I want to know more about my self until time comes that I’m totally ready to face those trials and temptation that might come though. Until I became strong enough to look down to my faults to remember everything what life and my destiny gives me. Until I’ll learn how to forgive and to forgive by people who I get an affinity for however I believe that my pride will always be in my heart and in my soul. Until I would know who really am I…Be aware of everything…My limitations, my capacity and the ability that I have.

Sometimes I dream of something that’s not meant to be. I tend to expect too much about my self. This I think makes me embarrassed my own dignity! I hate to hear the word PATHETIC! But I think I deserve this one! Too much expectation….how bitch Am I that I even learned drinking liquor and smoking cigarette…ask me for its price and I’ll tell you right away! He-he kidding!

I also think of becoming rebel but it didn't’t came out as easy that people like me may have thought. So far as I know, even though I didn't’t continue this damn plan that I just have had once in my life the hatred that I felt is still here inside me and can never easily be removed. It’s really an unpredictable thing that this person’s mind and spirit is inflicted of something that makes me very pessimist and sarcastic…

I DON’T DESERVE TO BE IN JAIL!

I DON’T DESERVE TO BE IN JAIL! 

 

I think I was only 9 yrs. Old when this incident happened to me. I was in our province, when my two uncles planned of going to the farm to visit their plants. I thought of going with them too and see their plants. My uncle asked me to hold his bolo, so I did. When we were on our way home I noticed the beautiful tobacco’s planted there, I was a bit amazed of the plants coz’ it’s so nice looking at them.

The next thing I remember was that I destroyed some of the plants that I see using the bolo. This is really crazy! I didn’t mean to do it, I just had too much fun…ha-ha

I never thought that the owner, the one who had planted the tobaccos might tick off to me! But I think I was lucky because nobody had seen me. My uncles wouldn’t tell anybody either coz’ it would be their fault too.

I was mistaken that someone had seen me destroying the tobaccos! OMG!!!  An old woman who said that she was there at that afternoon and saw what I did! …

Come next day, the owner of the tobacco came to our house and tells my mom, my aunt and to my grandpa what happened to his tobaccos. SHIT! I was really nervous at that time; I even hide on our room and was afraid of going out! Coz’ my mom told me that they would call a police and bring me to jail! Hoo-hah so I cried over and over again!

I wasn’t thinking that it was only a joke because it was all fine. My grandpa made a deal with the old man and paid the damages. I guess its all Php1, 000.00

 

 

Every time I see that old man, I just smile at him..ha-ha

And laugh every time I remember those experiences back when I was a kid!

 

Hay Thanks God! I’m safe, I won’t do it again! He he

 

** Another lesson from my childhood days! =]